i'm back.

Sounding Off... - Sunday, April 16 2006

it was a loong day today...but there was productivity! headed over to Dirty Gook's "studio" home after church @ 1430, jammed/recorded till like 2100. aside from a brief walk about Yaletown for a coffee break, we pretty much played for the entire time. he'd just started writing something 20min. before i showed up, and we've nearly finalized it, save one or 2 corny lines that we need to scrap. it's pretty cool; composing by oneself is fun, but having another instrument/musician to bounce ideas off is a great catalyst. makes ideas ripen so much faster if you've got the right mix.

so, after recording a few sample tracks, he suggests/insists that i finally record one of my own compositions. i'm kinda timid when it comes to recording/sharing my own stuff, mainly b/c i guess i'm just not used to it, and i'm not particularly fond of my own singing voice. but today i finally agreed. i mean, we're not pro at all, but that's part of the fun.



the "equipment" at his place is basically a 386 comp w/ a shareware version of ProTools (that freezes every so often) on it, a tiny voice mic., add to that the "boy band" mic from L&M that he got on Boxing Day, and a big tower speaker that looks like it came from a dumpster, and you've got Ghettofabulous Recording studios. this makes for low expectations. PERFECT.

so, after 2 takes, i've finally got my very own rough CD copy of my first guitar track:


Simplified Romance
(written March 2005)
after listening to it when i got home, i can conclude a few things: my tempo starts off way too fast (this is prbbly a common newbie mistake; the song is so familiar that i start too fast b/c i think it's boring if i sing it regular pace), i need to learn how to time my breathing properly, and i sing WAAY too quietly. i don't know how to project. i mean, even w/ the mic and everything my soundwaves were pretty sad. ProTools has a track monitor that visually displays the audio recordings w/ graphics that look similar to a heart rate monitor; big spikes and stuff when there's sound. mine looks like a flatliner. O_o

oh well, it sounded half decent, and Gook cranked up the track volume as best he could w/ studio magic, and voila. it really doesn't sound that bad...(if you overlook the rushing, the slight pitch fluctuations, and the part where i forget some of the lyrics)...i think Simon Cowell would be pretty impressed. =P

at least it's given me something to evaulate and build on. maybe one day, SOME day, i'll be satisfied enough to share it here publicly. just not anytime soon.

speaking of songs...

...my supervisor's getting married this summer, and since the office is 95% female there's been all the regular "girl-talk" that goes along w/ weddings. today in particular though, the topic of choosing music came up (wedding songs, 1st dance song, etc.), and people were asking around and throwing out suggestions for lovey-dovey/romantic songs. then it kinda dawned on me that when i started to think about it...i was drawing a blank. i was trying to recall a recent/current song from the love/romantic genre and i couldn't!

for myself; a person who used to listen to those kind of love ballads/serenades a lot, this seemed kinda weird but it got me thinking...

"why don't we sing love songs to each other anymore?"

i guess it's to be expected, i don't exactly have someone poised to be my "object of affection" right now, it's been quite a while.

how much does the music you listen to reflect where you are/what you're feeling during this particular period in your life? right now i'm pretty sordid, a whole mishmash of whatever; from rock to new age, hip hop to classical, instrumental to emo/punk...but if i had to find a common thread i would say it's basically anything that allows me to think/reflect, or makes me think.

FFwD...

Crazy kids...Friday, April 21 2006

played a bunch of wacky games w/ the kids tonight. lucky the numbers weren't too bad; 2 teams of 20. brought a whack of props from home to help integrate a mini-lesson on the Armour of God.

good thing i've gotta lotta junk lying around in my room, i had enough pieces of "armour" for both teams. 2 each of the: "Belt of Truth", "Breastplate of Righteousness" (safety vests), "Shield of Faith" (exclusive cardboard edition, made by sarah), "Helmet of Salvation" (my mountain biking lids), and the "Sword of the Spirit" (light sabers!).

Tax Free - Saturday, April 22 2006

shopping in the States @ the Outlets in Tulalip (just north of Seattle). bumped into grace n dugan @ the duty free shop, the place where everyone goes to try and jump the line @ the border. prbbly saved about 20min. wait time. found some decent deals, loaded up and headed back. @ the border we declared about $300 worth of goods betw. the 4 of us...and the dude in the line-up told us to head in and pay our taxes. O_o sooo in we went...and...the old dude at the desk decided to let us off. =)

i'm not sure how much we would've had to pay, but for whatever reason (maybe he felt lazy, didn't wanna do the paperwork), he said we could go. bonus!

Inaugural Sun Run - Sunday, April 23 2006

finished my 1st Vancouver Sun Run today. check the Training Log for a more detailed account. bunch of us walked down to Denman for lunch @ Mongolian Grill afterwards, finished up in time to grab some rays on the beach before watching Helene get baptized right there along the shores of English Bay in one of Coastal Church's baptismal services.

i've never been to an outdoor baptism before, so it was pretty cool. again, the gorgeous weather was totally accommodating for the occassion.

finally, around 1600ish...walked up Robson to the Burrard Skytrain & made my way home. i'd been on my feet for pretty much all day since 0730 and they were KILLING me...

mui flew home from UNBC today, she'll hang around for a week before going back up for Spring term.

man, time seems to be flying by so fast...it's almost MAY...a few more months, and it'll be waking up in JAPAN O_o

*random*

i dreamed a dream...

...and a very weird dream it was. even more peculiar is the fact that i remember it too. ppl have told me that we all dream, some just don't remember their dreams long enough afterwards, and therefore don't think they've dreamt anything. that'd be me. i usu. just konk out and wake up the next morning, and if someone were to ask me what i dreamt i'd say nothing.

but last night it was something strange. i don't really have a full recollection of what it was, but i just have this image in my head of this scene that took place:

me, sitting on something couch-like...could've been in a living room watching tv, a theatre, a car...something, but not an office/dining room chair. i was with someone else, a certain girl, and there may/may not have been other people around, but i can't remember. the girl (who will remain anonymous) was seated on my left, and (here's the weird part), the whole time we were sitting there she was biting my arm.

now it wasn't like she was trying to EAT it or anything, no blood/gore, but she just had a nice clamp on my arm w/ her teeth, and was just content to be sitting there like that. kinda like holding hands, but instead she's holding my arm w/ her mouth. weird. i rmmbr i was a little curious in the dream as to why she was doing this, but still calm. there was no "whoaa! freak! get off!!" reaction, but more like the "uhh...what're u doing?" look w/ the "Rock" eyebrow (u all know what look i'm talking about =P). and her response (a bit muffled as she was talking while still half-biting onto my arm; "it tastes good!" think of it like a dog holding onto it's fetch toy or something, they're not biting/chewing it like a rawhide bone, but remain happy just holding it in their mouths.

any dream interpreters out there?

Capital Unrest - Tuesday, April 11 2006

...i woke up in the wee hours of the morning today...not quite sure where i was or what time it was; what i had to do, where i had to be...and then i figured out it was tuesday morning. i remembered what i'd done the night before and that i was going to work today...and then i went back to sleep.

there was a period of time where that happened quite frequently, but it's been a while since it last did. it makes me wonder why...maybe i'm finally getting excited about going to Japan for JET? i hadn't really thought much about it since i received my letter, but i think it's slowly starting to sink in...(yeah, i'm kinda dense like that =P)

the full extent of it probably still won't register on me until i find out exactly where my placement is (rural or urban), but i've been reading articles/notes/"good to know" stuff from the 2006 JET Handbook online and that's helped increase my enthusiasm a bit.

i start wondering where i'll end up...

"will i be up in the North on Hokkaido? where it's cold and snowy? or swimming in the tropical waters down in Okinawa? or maybe island hopping in Kyushu? how bout chilling in Yokohama, perusing shops of local skin artians?"

still, no matter where i end up, i'm sure i'll have no problem getting into all sorts of trouble adventure. i find it funny though, that one of my mom's first responses when i told her i was going to Japan was this:

me: woohoo! i'm going to Japan!

ma: really? oh...do they have the death penalty over there?


O_o

hey, what are mothers for?

I've got Mail!! - Thursday, April 6 2006

today as i walked into the house after a long day at work, i saw an 8x10 package lying face down on the floor in front of the mail slot! my heart starts beating faster...i drop my bag and jacket on the floor and walk over. with a shaky hand, i slowly pick it up (feeling it to see whether it's "thick" or not)...feels thick to me! almost giddy w/ anticipation i turn it over to see where it's from...
.
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.
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.
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.


...doh! bloody bank.

damn u TD.

the Pessimist - Friday, April 7 2006

yesterday was a tease, so when i walked in and saw another envelope lying there on the floor today after work i wasn't quite as excited. but then i got a bit closer, and as soon as i could see the word "Consulate" on the envelope i knew this was it! it wasn't a package this time, just a normal legal-sized envelope...does that mean it's bad news? hmmm...my friend told me it'd be good news if it was thick. but just exactly what counts as "thick"?

ok cut the bs, so i rip it open. it's upside down, bunch of papers all folded together, fumbled around trying to find the front page to get a damn answer...finally got it, and i had to re-read it and read all the way down to the bottom JUST to make sure i didn't misinterpret anything...and.....so???




i'm in.

now hold on, i'm still not doing the dance of joy yet however, because i have to submit my reply, as well as a complete Medical Certificate (meaning i have to book an appt w/ the doc and get a complete physical done) to the Consulate by May 1st. if that all goes well, then they'll have to find an organization to sign me to, they'll let me know where/what by June, and THEN (as long as everyone's cool and they don't cut the budget or cancel last minute) i'd be good to leave 1st week of August.

i don't consider myself a pessimist, but i'm just telling myself not to be too gung-ho about it yet b/c if i've learned anything in life so far it is to expect the unexpected. this doesn't mean i live my life in fear and paranoia, but i just think it's good to be prepared for any kind of surprises.

so if my reply letter gets lost in the mail, or if my doctor fudges up on the exam, or if the school they send me to goes out of business in July, or even if they actually sent me the wrong reply...i'll deal w/ it.

hehe, don't worry/think of this as the beginning of a self-fulfilling prophecy, i guess i'm just a turd sometimes. =P i really AM happy and glad that i got the response that i did, and i thank God that the waiting time seriously just flew by like nothing. that and the fact that my BCIT contract goes till the end of June, giving me a month to relax/prepare, this couldn't be more perfect. so just wait; when this ( . ) has both feet firmly planted on Nippon soil, THEN we do the Dance of Joy!

but neway, for now at least, i'm as "in" as it gets!

the suspense... - Wednesday, April 5 2006

...is killing me! JET says response letters were mailed out on April 1, so i should hear the answer any day now.

i don't know why, but the period of time from my interview until now just flew by. i thought that month would be the one where i'd be the most impatient/anxious, but i guess i was lucky enough to have other things like the UBC tri & Session 12 to look forward to, which helped the time pass quick.

but now i think i'm esp. nervous b/c 1) i really couldn't get a read on how the interview went, and 2) if i don't get it...i don't exactly have a backup plan yet. O_o

i've gone through the possible scenarios in my mind too, tried imagining/imitating the emotions i'd feel if i got accepted or rejected, wondered what kind of reaction i'd have either way...i wonder if it'll feel weird; having all the days spent waiting fly by, and then right when i open that envelope and read the verdict...time stands still.

i figure if it's a "Yes" the time between then and the July departure will fly by as well, but if it's a "No"...time at work will pass by drearily @ a sluggish pace. i think the worst would be the "Maybe" response, which would mean i'm on the list of "Alternates" meaning you're on stand-by just in case some people turn down the offer. i think that would totally suck...i'd rather just get a "No" and be able to move on from there instead of having that glimmer of hope and having to put stuff on hold for another few months "just in case"...

sucks. kinda like trying to decide if you should say 'yes' and agree to go out w/ someone that's made it pretty obvious she digs you even though you're not that into her, while at the same time wondering about someone else who you haven't really gotten a chance to know yet but feel strangely attracted to...whether or not to risk making a move because...

ah but yes, i digress.

all this jabber is meaningless really. just stuff to keep me occupied as i watch the days go by...twiddling my thumbs away here in the office as i patiently wait to hear my fate...

i've some art & philosophy to leave behind today:



"Many cultures attach sacred meaning to the bloom of the lotus flower. In addition to its symbolism and mythology, its exquisite beauty transcends all cultures. As the only plant to fruit and flower simultaneously and emerge from the depths of the muddy waters, it symbolizes the manisfestation of the universal Buddha Nature or Christ Consciousness inherent in all of creation.



The behavior of the lotus is metaphoric to the potential of human nature. Through most life experiences, especially those that test our strength and spiritual beliefs, we are given the opportunity to learn and hopefully understand more about the universe and ourselves. In darkness, beauty emerges into light and reveals that life is indeed remarkable."

l o t u s



purity and beauty in the midst of adversity...



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